My Baby Loves to Dance

Yesterday, on October 9th, my precious oldest daughter turned four.

Where, or where, does time go? To be honest, I've been dreading this day. Turning one was exciting and fun, as was two & three. But four. Four I've had a hard time with for some reason. Over the past few months we've all noticed her just *acting* bigger- phrases she says, or silly jokes she tells. This past year, she's truly gone from "baby" to "little girl". I think that's the part I've had the hardest time with.

She has become so much more independent in the past year. She is able to go entertain herself- she get's crayons & a coloring book out, and can sit at the table by herself & color... and clean up too. She is able to potty all by herself. She is able to put herself in bed for rest time. She is able to clean her room (for the most part). She loooves to brush her hair all by herself. So many big girl things! I can't believe the changes in *just* one year!

Gabbi is an amazing little girl. Absolutely unique from head to toe. She is, what I believe to be, the perfect combination of "tomboy" & "girly girl". She has the best imagination- including her friend "Frances" in on most family occasions. She loves to play princesses- something I never encouraged or pushed on her, but she just loves them so I won't hinder that. As I type she's sitting here with a little Melissa & Doug dress-up magnet Princess. Not only is she dressing her, but she's talking to & carrying on with her- in a totally different world. I love listening to her & watching her play.

At the same time, she loves the outdoors. Camping & hiking are at the top of some of her favorite things to do. She loves to look at the trees changing colors, and on hikes she is constantly stopping to pick up or take a closer look at something. Oh, the things we can learn from a child! While we are such goal-oriented people and just want to get to the destination, my sweet girl reminds us it's not about that destination, the end... it's about the walk we are taking, stop and enjoy it.... take it in! She loves to play sports outside with her daddy. Kicking around the soccer ball, or throwing a ball. She also loves exercising. Her little version of it anyway- which include yoga stretches (not the whole yoga exercise in its entirety) her & I look at on youtube, or doing sit ups/ push ups with her daddy.

She loves to learn, and has started asking so many questions that I (most of the time) love taking the time to explain to her. Why are the leaves changing colors? Why does it rain? And recently, a very important one, what does it mean to be separated from God? I pray her curiosity never ceases, and that I don't burn it out or blow it off because of selfishness & lack of patience.

She is able now to write her name from memory, and can copy words that I write. I don't know what a "typical" 4 year-old's art work looks like, but her pictures are amazing! She draws some excellent pictures of princess, our family, and rainbows.

She is such a silly little bundle of energy. Telling "jokes" she makes up. For instance: "knock knock!" (who's there) "Orange" (Orange who?) "Orange pudding, I didn't say banana!" ... she tries :)

Her favorite color is purple (and pink). Favorite food is broccoli. Her favorite TV show is Strawberry Shortcake. Favorite movie is Tangled. Her favorite place to go is "Nana's house!" Gabbi's favorite animal is a sheep, and her favorite book for us to read is "Take Care, Good Knight" (because it's silly). Her favorite song to sing "God Made Me" (on Slugs & Bugs CD). A game she likes to play is "Duck Duck Goose". When asked who her best friend is, she says Madison (Franse). And she says when she is *all grown up* she wants to be a Princess.
Finally, my baby *loves* to dance! She started dancing right as she turned a year old. I will never forget living in this little townhouse in Powell, where our washer/ dryer were in the dining area. When a wash was running its spin cycle amd making a steady beat, Gabbi sat in her high chair eating lunch, dancing to the beat. No music at all, but she heard music.
She dances everywhere. Up & down the hallway, all around the house. Sometimes, to be honest, it grates my nerves because our house is so tiny... but I'm working on & praying for my ability to let things go. Choose my battles. On most days, I love that she doesn't want to sit still. She is so much like me in that way. I had her signed up for a dance camp this summer, and was so sad when she came down with strep throat the same week. Maybe next year things will work out!

My brother & sister-in-law bought Gabbi & Catie a CD for Christmas last year called "Slugs & Bugs & Lullabies" by Andrew Peterson. There is this song on it called "My Baby Loves to Dance" that I thought of Gabbi the moment I first heard it. I decided to post the lyrics with several pictures of my baby growing up over the years.

"My Baby Loves to Dance"

My baby loves to dance,

She loves to spin around

She's only two feet tall,

But I don't mind at all

She hears a song in every little sound.

And my baby loves to move,

She settles on my chest,

She doesn't stay for long, a moment and she's gone

She's off to find another heart to bless.

And the leaves were turning golden brown,

People came from miles around,

To see her when she came to town.

Then I turned to walk outside,

Stood beneath an Autumn sky,

I felt a season falling,

And a new one taking flight.

My baby loves me so,

She loves me as I am.

She lifts her little hands,

Her wish is my command

I'll pick her up forever if I can.

-Andrew Peterson

Gabbi, we are in awe of what the Lord has done in you over the passed four years! You are growing up to be such a beautiful little girl- you are learning and doing so much! Our prayer is that as you grow & continue to learn, the Lord would open your heart to Him. That you will learn & believe His love for you. He loves you so much more & so much better than we ever could. Happy Birthday, Pumpkin!

Please Pass the Polenta

I am losing my mind. I'm pretty sure that pregnancy/ breastfeeding kill brain cells (joke).

But seriously, I went grocery shopping a couple days ago while my mom was here with the two big girls. When I got home, it was time for Ruthie to take a nap. Mom left, and I proceeded to lay Ruthie down. It wasn't until I was outside opening up the door to the van that I realized "What in the world am I doing trying to put Ruthie in the van?! She needs her bed!" Sooo we walk back inside & I put her in bed. Now it was time to get groceries (what I believe I was originally trying to do while holding Ruthie). So I walk outside, think to myself "it's beautiful out here!", go check the mail, thumb through it, come back into the house and realize "Wait, I wasn't meaning to get the mail I was meaning to get the groceries!!"
So you could imagine my frustration with myself & how convinced I was that I was *crazy* when I completely misplaced dinner yesterday.
I was making chicken and cheesy polenta (similar to grits, but a "healthier" version) with broccoli. The chicken was already in the oven, as I was on the phone chatting with my friend who recently moved to Nashville. I pulled everything out of the pantry, turned water on to boil, thena few minutes later when it was boiling reached for the bag of polenta. It wasn't there. Hmmm...
I searched all over my counters again, searched and researched the pantry, I even looked in the refrigerator thinking I placed it there. I was laughing at myself out loud to my friend as I went on and on about how crazy I am that I even misplaced our dinner! (I had just told her about my recent temporary loss of insanity the previous day.)
Trying to retrace my steps, I looked in the girls' bedroom & the bathroom (remembering that Gabbi had recently gone potty & Catie woke up from her nap). Maybe it was there? Nope. My friend told me to go ahead and get off the phone to figure it out & call her later. Once I was off the phone, I looked at G & C sitting at the table coloring. I picked C up & looked in her booster, then asked Gabbi to move so I could look in her chair.

"Have you seen a bag of food?" I asked G.

"Nope," she replied, as I walked back into the kitchen and began searching again. "I just hid it."
"You hid what?"
"That food you were talking about. I hid it," she said cheerfully. "Come on! I'll show you! Follow me!" I followed her into the living room, where she reached under the side table that sits between our two couches and pulls out the bag of Polenta... giggling.

"Why did you do that?" I asked, laughing.
"I was just being silly," she shrugged.

What a silly girl!!!

She heard my entire conversation as I frantically searched our home for some missing bag of polenta, convinced I had lost my mind. I can only imagine what was going on in her little head.

As I continued cooking a few minutes later she looked up at me from her coloring book, "Mommy, I'm sorry I hid that from you."
"Aw Baby, I forgive you, you were funny. Just don't do it anymore okay?"
I'm absolutely thankful for little moments like this in my life, where my sweet silly girls keep me laughing.

The longings of the heart...

I had a "come to Jesus" moment with Gabbi this afternoon. I praise God for times when He shows me what is in my unregenerate children's hearts, although I don't always act in thankfulness.

Today we went to Chik-fil-a with Mom. It was great getting out of the house, even if on a rainy day. The rain and clouds held off the close-to-100 degree weather we were supposed to have, so that was nice. After lunch we went to walk around Target & buy some shoes for Catie-bug who has outgrown every pair of her shoes. No joke, we literally took her into Target bare-footed. Her sandals fit her on Sunday. And Monday I noticed her toes hanging off the ends. Growing girl!

Taking a group full of girls to the shoe section in any store is a sure fire way to reveal a covetousness heart- including my own. So there we are, can you picture it, trying on shoes for Catie as she pulls shoes off the shelf. Every size she grabbed was bigger, so she'd shove it in my face saying "sissy shoe. sissy shoe." All the while, Gabbi dances up and down the shoe isles making sure I'm well aware that she just LOVES this pair... no this pair... no she REALLY loves this pair... aren't they so pretty, Mommy??? ((sigh))

Well, they only had one pair and shoes in Catie's size so that made things slightly easier, and we moved onto the clothing section. We had no need to be in the clothing section really, I only wanted to show Mom the small rack of Minnie Mouse clothes I saw there on a previous trip- Catie loves Minnie :)

All the while Gabbi is asking for everything she sees. Everything. "I want this dress... Can we get this shirt?? Ooo no this one." The thing about it was, it didn't frustrate me. It didn't exasperate me. It only made me sad as I realized... am I any different?? Just because I don't verbalize my wants doesn't mean that the Lord doesn't see the depths of my heart as I walk through the store. I want everything I see. "Lord, I wish we could afford this... and this... Why can't I buy every pair of shoes down the isle? Ah, if only... Then I'd be happy." And what I lie that is!

"Gabbi, honey, we did not come to buy dresses. Catie needs shoes, that's the only reason we came," I explained.

"But I waaaaaaant iiiiiiiiit!!!!!!!" Breaking point. In my flesh, any other day, I would turn my head with the well known, "whose child is this?!?!" expression. But the Lord gave me such grace. He HAS shown me such grace, so I passed it on to Gabbi. I hugged her, and I admit, shed some tears as well. What could I say to her?? I was the exact same way. I prayed for God to show me how to address her.

Gabbi, do you know why you want everything you see? She nodded, "Because of my heart." Yes, honey, your heart is selfish and it's not satisfied. I know because I'm the same way. My heart is selfish and I want everything I see in the store too. But you know what? Jesus can satisfy our hearts and all our desires, and he is the only one who can. You know, honey, if Mommy bought you every pair of shoes you liked and all the pretty dresses in the store. If we took them home and filled your room with everything, you still wouldn't be satisfied because you haven't trusted Jesus to satisfy your heart. I'm the same way honey, but I trust Jesus to satisfy me, and He does. Will this dress make you happy? She nodded. No, honey, no it won't. This dress will not make you happy. You think it will right now because your heart is sinful, but it won't. What is the only thing that can truly make you happy? "Jesus." Yes, Baby, Jesus is the ONLY thing that will truly make you happy. Not this dress. Not all the pretty shoes. Nothing. Nothing will make you truly happy. Only Jesus. So let's ask Him to show you how dissatisfied you are without Him. Let's ask Him to satisfy both of our selfish hearts....

What a moment He gave me. I am so thankful for opportunities to see their sinfulness & point out clear examples of how Jesus can change them. After we prayed and we started to walk away, she did continue to cry.

I am not discouraged. It's only evidence that He has not changed her heart yet. I explained that her, that she was showing me she hadn't trusted Jesus yet. And I asked her over and over, "Will that dress make you happy?... No, only Jesus can make you happy."

I am well aware that my words cannot change her. I know I did not say all the right things, and maybe said some wrong things as far as anyone else is concerned... but it is not about what I say or do that will cause Jesus to change her heart.

In the same way nothing I said or did caused Him to change mine. He chose to out of the depths of His grace & mercy. It is that same grace & mercy I look to, and ask for on behalf of my children... and I wait....

Another Mommy Moment

This morning Gabbi & Catie are playing "dinner party". Two little wooden chairs pulled up to their "table" (a laundry basket flipped upside down). While they have a perfectly good wooden Little Tikes table just in the next room, the laundry basket seems much more practical in their little minds I suppose. I do think it's cute how they'd rather pretend than use the real thing :)

This dinner party started off pretty, and turned ugly real quick- as most interactive play does these days. I played mediator for several minutes "Gabbi don't grab, just ask" "Catie, don't squeal and fuss, say please" "Catie, that one is Gabbi's right now" "Gabbi, let Catie play with this one" "Love each other. Love is kind." and so on....

Well, there comes a point in every Mommy's life (at least I hope every mommy) when enough is enough. And I just can't mediate all morning when there's heaps of laundry to fold. And my sanity honestly can't handle one more scream from sweet Catie-Bug. And... well... I just collect all the dinner party dishes in my hands and go put them back in the bucket in the bedroom.

In my frustration, sweet Gabbi still knows how to make me smile. She responded not with cries like I would expect from a preschooler, but with a big sigh of relief as she said: "This is helping very much!!"

I had to laugh. Glad she sees things my way!

I do just love my little ones.

Snow Day! Snow Day! Snow Day!

I love snow! Love love love snow! Not the greatest fan of being cold, but, I'll deal with it during the snow. It's beautiful. It's fun. It's great. I kind of wish we lived in a part of the country that got a little more snow than here. Then maybe so many people wouldn't have such a bad attitude about it! ;o)

I'm really wishing this post would have some great pictures of how we absolutely enjoyed this wonderful snow today... but there won't be any. It was below freezing all day, with a windchill of like, 6 degrees. My 3 year old and sick 1 year old stayed nice and cozy inside- as did Dustin and I! This was already the second snow of the winter... and it's not even winter! But Gabbi and I got out on the back porch just a little while the first time one day last week. We're hoping it's a year for a lot of snow. Maybe even a white Christmas *fingers crossed*. On Christmas, I already told Dustin, no matter how cold it is if it snows, we will be outside at some point. So no pictures of tonight, but I'll leave a picture of last winter's big snow. Here's Gabbi staying cool in the "fort" her Daddy and Poppy built for her.

I am excited to share our home is finally decorated for Christmas! What few decorations we have. But I'm not worried about it, nor am I caught up in how our home needs to look for the holidays. I suppose I easily could be, but for financial reasons and the fact that we haven't yet been married 4 years, we just haven't accumulated much stuff :) This is a year of firsts, however. Two Sundays ago we ventured out to find our first *real* Christmas tree. I am in love! If we can help it, we'll never have an artificial tree again. We bought from this little place across from the new Kroger on Broadway. All the trees were beautiful, and not nearly as expensive as I thought. They truly were some of the prettiest real trees I've ever seen- and I'm not just saying that because ours is from there ;) Gabbi had a blast picking out our tree. She ran to the biggest trees on the lot wanting "that one". It was bitter cold that evening, but she didn't seem to notice. We finally settled on one, came home, ate soup, drank hot chocolate, and decorated our tree. Gabbi helped us decorate after Catie went to bed. She hung about ten ornaments or so before she went on to bed and Dustin and I finished up. I got a kick the next morning of hearing her tell Catie about the tree.

"Isn't our tree beautiful, Catie? Mommy and I decorated it last night. See, I did this one, Catie (pointing to an ornament she hung). And this one... And this one..." I love how, in her mind, Daddy had nothing to do with it. And she didn't even notice the tree being completed the next morning. When she had gone to bed, the bottom third of it was missing lights because Dustin had to go out and buy more.

I also love how she always talks to Catie as if Catie understands everything she's saying. It's so sweet, and I know one day (very soon), Catie will really be understanding everything she's saying. On one hand, I don't want that day to come. But on the other hand, I'm so anxious to see how they'll interact and talk when Catie gets just a little bigger. However, these days we're really working on some heart issues with Gabbi as far as Catie is concerned. We pray everyday, sometimes several times a day, for the Lord to help Gabbi love Catie, help her be kind to Catie, and not be selfish, not to push/ hit/ trip, etc. My patience is often tested, and I must continually remember the Lord's constant patience with me. He has shown me much grace in my life, and I pray Gabbi will see this grace through me. There are things God has to tell me over- and over- and over- and over- again before one day, I get it! And I have the Holy Spirit. Gabbi doesn't, so how could I possibly expect her to do better than I? In the mean time, we'll keep praying. Keep reminding. Keep speaking truth to her and over her. I am looking forward to seeing God's mighty hand in her life.

Dancing with Cinderella

Yesterday I had such a sweet moment with my Gabbi. We have been struggling during our mornings. I don't think either one of us are "morning people". I am quite fleshy when I wake up and need much prayer to get through diapers, potty, breakfast, getting dressed... Gabbi too.

So yesterday morning Catie decided to sleep in which left Gabbi and I some much needed one-on-one time. We had our morning devotion from the Jesus Storybook Bible, then went to the couch and sat and talked and prayed. I shared with her how we've been struggling and needed some extra prayer this morning. She sat quietly and listened, it was sweet.

When we were done, she looked up at the bookshelf at a wedding picture of Dustin and I. She asked "Mommy, were you married in that picture?"

"Yes Honey, I was."

"Oh, was Daddy married in that picture?"

"Yes. That is a picture from the day Daddy and I got married."

"Oh, and you had your white dress on??" So observant, my little one :)

"I did. I had a wedding dress on."

"I had a dress on when I got married too!" Silly girl.

"Well, Honey, you're not married. But when you get bigger you will wear a white dress when you get married."

"Oh, when I grow big I will get married and where my own one??" She started to perk up a little. Any occasion to wear a dress makes her happy.

"Yes honey, Lord willing you will."
"Oh, and DADDY WILL DANCE WITH ME?????" Her eyes were so big, and she had such a huge smile on her face, I couldn't help but tear up. Even more exciting than wearing a dress is having Daddy to dance with. I will not tell her that on her wedding day, she'll probably be more excited to dance with her husband than Daddy.... I won't tell him that either ;)

My girl loves to dance and wear dresses. No kidding, every time she puts a dress on she says, "so I can dance?" Then instantly begins to twirl around. Even cuter than this is the fact that for the longest time she believed at the ball Cinderella was dancing with her dad. The idea of a prince had never occurred to her. She has only ever danced with Daddy. I'm sad that I corrected her about the 5th time she told me "Mommy, Cinderella is dancing with her daddy!" Wish I would have just left her with that innocent thought. Whenever we watch it she now asks me, "Can Daddy be the prince when he gets home??" If he's home when we are watching it, he'll always come and dance with her when the ball scene is on. He's such a sweet Daddy.

Our prince :)

Fruits of our Labor

When Dustin and I first had Gabbi, we didn't know what to expect... naturally.

We knew certain things. We knew first and foremost, we were to train her in the knowledge of the Lord, praying one day she would come to TRUE knowledge of and love for Him. We knew we didn't want her to watch too much TV, or eat too much junk food. We knew we were going to have to one day spank her precious little bottom. We knew we weren't going to send her to public school. We knew she would one day have siblings, and we would have to teach her to share and be mediating disagreements...

But what in the world does all that look like?

Fortunately for us, the Lord doesn't leave us high and dry. He provided us with His word most importantly, but secondarily another book: Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. My recommendation to every mom. The link is a review of the book by Tim Challies and you can find the book on amazon. Anyway, through much prayer and reading, the Lord showed us His heart for discipline.

Our expectation is for our children to obey us, immediately, the first time we give a command. We don't count. We don't do time out. If we give a command, and she fails to obey, she is discipline... with love. We aren't on an power trip. We don't give flippant commands just because we can. And we don't say "because I said so".

Quick obedience is the Lord's desire. Our prayer is that by teaching her to submit to our authority, restraining her will, then submitting to the Lord's authority will come more naturally (I hesitate to say "easy" because obedience to the Lord isn't easy) when she is older.

When Gabbi was not quite one we went to Corryton on a hay ride to get a pumpkin. We were closer to the tractor on the wagon, and I saw a family that was near the back of the wagon. The daughter was maybe 5 or 6. She was sitting on her dad's lap, but when the tractor started moving she wanted to move across to her mom (or aunt, or someone, i'm not sure). She stood up and started to walk across, and I could see that dad was telling her not to although I couldn't hear him. The girl shook her head and was fighting against him as he reached for her arm. Then, she fell. She was a second from falling off the wagon. If the dad hadn't been quick to jump up, grab her arm and pick her up she would have fell off the back of the wagon.

My heart sunk for them. But, through that, God showed me obedience is for their protection. I tell Gabbi every time I discipline her: "Honey, you must obey for your protection. I can't let you go astray!" The image of that family on the hay ride has never left my mind.

I was reminded of it again yesterday. We met Dustin for lunch, and I had the van parked up at the closest spots right along the curb. When we were leaving, Gabbi was walking by herself and I pointed to the van saying "this way". Well, she didnt' see the van, and understood that I was just saying to go in this direction. She jumped off the curb and was running full speed ahead into the parking lot. I didn't see her, but heard Dustin yell "GABBI, STOP!!" just in time to see her running, then stopping instantly, so fast that her feet slipped out from under her and she fell bottom first onto the pavement. Seconds later a car drove by, right where she would have been had she not obeyed. My heart lept and I was in tears, praising her for her obedience and showing her what would have happened. Dustin thinks the person would have seen her in time, I'm not so sure. I choose not think about it though, and only think of the Lord's GREAT mercy. His mercy to teach us biblical discipline, His mercy to enable her to obey at that moment (because trust me, she does not always obey instantly), His mercy to remain faithful even when we are not.

He is a good God.