Sunday, May 18, 2008

Thoughts on Narnia

Last night we had a "fajita night" with our Lifegroup (Sunday School). Gabbi stayed the night with my parents. I had thought maybe we'd take advantage and go to be early... however, when Daniel and Ashley said they were going to see the new Narnia movie, we got a crazy hair and were out until TWO. Well worth it though.... I think.
First we went by their place (they live in the apartments we are going to moving into). It was pretty exciting to see where we're going to be living. Dustin and I talked about where we'd put our furniture and I started getting visuals of where I'd hang certain things. I'm SO excited!
Then we rode together downtown to the Riviera (sp?). I'd never been to the that theater. I really liked it... it was a cool, spring night and there were outdoor escalators- which I'd never seen. It was just fun. Had we gone earlier I would've wanted to walk around market square and really get the "feel" of being downtown on a spring night. But... the movie was at 10:45 and by the time it was over we were all half asleep and the city was definitely dead.

The movie though... Oh, it was SO good! Equally as good, if not better, than the first. I love the symbolism in it... and how I can see the Christian parallel. On the way home I told Dustin, I really don't know how a non-Christian can get anything out of it. I mean, I guess yeah, they would see them as "good moral ideas" or something. But it is just so clear I don't know how they could deny it. I don't know if that makes sense?
The entire underlying theme is faith, in short. When Narnia was being attacked, Aslan wasn't showing his face to them clearly, and they started to doubt/ stopped believing. (All except Lucy, really). Then they began to do things in their own strength, and failed miserabley. *This is all a brief synopsis of what I took from it* The picture so much resembles our walk with the Lord- when His plan is not completely clear to us, do we still rest in Him? Do we still seek Him and His desires for our lives even when we don't understand? It really spoke to me in our situation right now- or maybe more a week ago.
My favorite scene, and it was truly thought provoking, was when Lucy was reunited with Aslan. One time she was dreaming, the next time was for real and near the end of the movie. The first time though, the flowers and trees around her seemed to come alive and we dancing. And Lucy just laughed and smiled. The second time, when she saw Aslan, she tackled him and they kinda rolled on the ground laughing. I really contemplate this. So often our picture of the Lord is of Him reigning over us, pointing His finger at us when we are in the wrong- possibley even a stern look on His face. Or maybe even if He's not "angry" at us... do we picture Him laughing with us playfully? The Bible says He delights in us. I truly think this is what it looks like for Him to delight in us. I love to think of Lucy's relationship with Aslan in light of mine with God. This morning at church even thinking of me seeing Jesus, tackling Him to the ground and laughing with Him inspired my heart to worship. Oh, how I long to rid this body of flesh, see my King face to face, hold him, laugh with Him... how I long to know His delight in me, even me...

I've told this story a couple times. But I was thinking a couple weeks ago about Gabbi. How I love her more than I ever thought capable, and how my love for her only grows as she grows. How Dustin and I love to watch her as she's growing, learning new things- the first time she rolled over, sat up, and now as she tries SO hard to crawl and is taking new strides each day. Even when she plays, Dustin and I can sit forever watching her, just smiling and practically drooling over her! WE DELIGHT IN HER. God showed me a couple weeks ago the picture: we as Gabbi's parents, Him as our Parent. And if we, being fallen love her and delight in her so much, how much greater HE delights in US. Oh, Father the things You teach me through my child! I loved this image.

The Lord knows my longing to truly know and believe His love for me. He's showing me new things each day. I'm just basking in it... His glory... He's amazing.

Friday, May 16, 2008

"Strengthen the weak hands, and make firm the feeble knees. Say to those who have an anxious heart, 'Be strong; fear not! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God. He will come and save you.'" Isaiah 35:3-4

I love the mention of anxious hearts... oh, my heart has been anxious. But the Lord is my strength. Yes, He will come and save me. Oh, He rewards those who seek Him!! I've been seeking Him more strongly as of late, and my heart is learning to trust Him. He proves Himself faithful over and over.

Yesterday, we had our third door close on a new job. The last of the landscaping guys that Dustin had worked for said he didn't need anymore workers right now, but he'd "keep him in mind" (as all the others have said). Today though, he (Jeff) called Dustin back and asked him when he'd be able to start working for him. Dustin explained to him that if it would be stable, and if he could get the hours he needs, he could start next week. Then again Jeff said he'll call back tomorrow and let him know. Well, he called back tonight. Dustin missed the call though, but he left a voice mail saying- yes, I can make you stable and get you 45-50 hours a week.
WOW, Lord. That is exactly what we've been praying for for MONTHS!!
Oh, how we've waited- sometimes patiently, sometimes not so patiently- but waited we have.

He's better than we deserve. An apartment. A new job. We got our tax rebate today. He's so good.

Just giving an update. I'll be updating more soon :) Love to all!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Whirlwind.

Today started off great.
For the past couple months it's been this battle- I am SO ready to move out of our apartment. One bedroom. No windows (we're in a basement). No bathtub (just a stand-up shower stall). The smallest kitchen imaginable. And our "living room" is our livingroom/ dining room/ laundry room/ office/ and Gabbi's playroom- all in one! It's pretty much impossible to keep clean, really.
The Lord knows our needs. He knows what we can (and can't) afford. I've had to give it to Him over and over... it's been a battle of trusting Him, then taking it back, then trusting Him, then questioning Him. I've told myself that I really believed He wasn't going to give us a new place until I was content with where He had us. Phil 4:11 "...for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content." Oh how did Paul do it?? Well, I've been trying. Sometimes, in my own strength, sometimes in His.
It's just been one of the *many* battles I'm wrestling with. Trusting & believing the Lord being the underlying theme. Dustin needs a new job- desperately NEEDS a new job. And everywhere we turn it's a closed door. Oh Lord, in Your timing we know!
I'm praying.... It's a growing time for sure.
With my parents moving this summer... they've already had an offer go through with their house, so it's just a matter of time. And my brother moving... I just feel like my head is spinning.
Oh Katie, pray for me to really practice what you were talking about last night. Face to face with the Lord. Not looking around, or back, face to face- mine to His. That's really been sticking out to me.
Sometimes it's so hard for me to truly believe that His way is the best- that He really wants the BEST for me. When we're living in this cramped apartment, struggling to pay bills (but He provides), and now all my family is moving away... this is the Lord's best for me.
Face to face.
I needed some encouragement. So this morning when Gabbi went down I sat on my bed (also my couch lol.) And opened up my bible and Praying God's Word (Beth Moore). I really didn't even know where to begin... there's so much in my heart and mind that I want to lay out before the Lord that I don't even know how to communicate it with Him. Praise Him that He understands me better than I do.
My phone rings. The apartment complex where we were on a waiting list. They have a place for us! So... the middle of June we will be moving on! And yes, to a place that is twice as big and less expensive (if you can believe it).
How sweet of Him??? Lord, You ARE good. Just to lift up my head when I need it the most. I know He will have a job for Dustin in His time, and He will sustain us until then. I have to believe it.
So I read on in Hebrews. "And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him" (v. 11:6). It's funny how I always have heard the first part of this verse, but never really focused in on the second part. He rewards those who seek Him. In the MacArthur, the footnotes led to a verse in Chronicles.
"And you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father and serve Him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek Him, He will be found by you..." 1 Chron 28:9
I can rest in the fact that He understands every plan and thought. But what does it look like to serve God with a willing mind?? I've been praying for Him to show me that today. A whole heart and a willing mind. Does a willing mind worry about time or space or money? Does it continuously jump from one thought to another about how's and why's and where's? Maybe a willing mind is a mind that is stayed on Him. Any thoughts are welcome ones.

This is just where my thoughts have left me as of now.