Wednesday, May 14, 2008


Today started off great.
For the past couple months it's been this battle- I am SO ready to move out of our apartment. One bedroom. No windows (we're in a basement). No bathtub (just a stand-up shower stall). The smallest kitchen imaginable. And our "living room" is our livingroom/ dining room/ laundry room/ office/ and Gabbi's playroom- all in one! It's pretty much impossible to keep clean, really.
The Lord knows our needs. He knows what we can (and can't) afford. I've had to give it to Him over and over... it's been a battle of trusting Him, then taking it back, then trusting Him, then questioning Him. I've told myself that I really believed He wasn't going to give us a new place until I was content with where He had us. Phil 4:11 "...for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content." Oh how did Paul do it?? Well, I've been trying. Sometimes, in my own strength, sometimes in His.
It's just been one of the *many* battles I'm wrestling with. Trusting & believing the Lord being the underlying theme. Dustin needs a new job- desperately NEEDS a new job. And everywhere we turn it's a closed door. Oh Lord, in Your timing we know!
I'm praying.... It's a growing time for sure.
With my parents moving this summer... they've already had an offer go through with their house, so it's just a matter of time. And my brother moving... I just feel like my head is spinning.
Oh Katie, pray for me to really practice what you were talking about last night. Face to face with the Lord. Not looking around, or back, face to face- mine to His. That's really been sticking out to me.
Sometimes it's so hard for me to truly believe that His way is the best- that He really wants the BEST for me. When we're living in this cramped apartment, struggling to pay bills (but He provides), and now all my family is moving away... this is the Lord's best for me.
Face to face.
I needed some encouragement. So this morning when Gabbi went down I sat on my bed (also my couch lol.) And opened up my bible and Praying God's Word (Beth Moore). I really didn't even know where to begin... there's so much in my heart and mind that I want to lay out before the Lord that I don't even know how to communicate it with Him. Praise Him that He understands me better than I do.
My phone rings. The apartment complex where we were on a waiting list. They have a place for us! So... the middle of June we will be moving on! And yes, to a place that is twice as big and less expensive (if you can believe it).
How sweet of Him??? Lord, You ARE good. Just to lift up my head when I need it the most. I know He will have a job for Dustin in His time, and He will sustain us until then. I have to believe it.
So I read on in Hebrews. "And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him" (v. 11:6). It's funny how I always have heard the first part of this verse, but never really focused in on the second part. He rewards those who seek Him. In the MacArthur, the footnotes led to a verse in Chronicles.
"And you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father and serve Him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek Him, He will be found by you..." 1 Chron 28:9
I can rest in the fact that He understands every plan and thought. But what does it look like to serve God with a willing mind?? I've been praying for Him to show me that today. A whole heart and a willing mind. Does a willing mind worry about time or space or money? Does it continuously jump from one thought to another about how's and why's and where's? Maybe a willing mind is a mind that is stayed on Him. Any thoughts are welcome ones.

This is just where my thoughts have left me as of now.


Katrina said...

Yay! How exciting! =) I am so happy for you guys.
Where are your parents and brother moving to?

katiegfromtennessee said...

Hey Bekah,

Just got your comment and read your post. Man, the Lord is working! He has perfect timing doesn't he? I got that idea about walking with God face to face from Beth Moore's Quick Word at last week I think. Her Quick Word today is also about that too. Check it out. It's a better explanation about what I was trying to say:) I was thinking about that "willing mind" as possibly being a state of mind where you trust God completely, and are willing to go through whatever He allows in your life all the while knowing that it is for your good-that he is teaching something in you or accomplishing a freeing work in you so that when you come out at the other side of the situations in your life, you can turn and help others along the way. Like in Acts, I was going through the first day of Living Beyond Yourself bible study (Beth Moore) and she had me read Acts 14:22 (AMP) "22Establishing and strengthening the souls and the hearts of the disciples, urging and warning and encouraging them to stand firm in the faith, and [telling them] that it is through many hardships and tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God." All I can say, Bekah, is that satan would not want you to trust God to provide for you or for you to believe Him and His Word, so he will try to attack your mind and see if he can attack your situation, and you just need to hold on for dear life to your LORD and meditate on His Word as really being true, even when you do not understand at all or your thoughts or situation scares you, or horrifys you, or just makes you feel plain uncomfortable and ungrateful for what He has given you-this is what I He has been teaching me! I am soo glad He is 100% for each and every one of His children! We are found in Him, Bekah, we are the apple of His eye! He knows what He is doing in us! I am and will be praying for you! See you soon at church!