Thursday, August 14, 2008

So it's been a really long week.
My parents moved Monday- literally the first time of my life I've been away from them. It's been hard. I just feel like I'm in a "dry" place with the Lord this week. I was explaining to someone that, when I've read this week, I feel like I'm not retaining anything. And when I've prayed, for the first time in my walk with the Lord it's like my prayers have hit the roof. I know He's there, I just can't sense Him there. Yesterday I was just overcome with sadness and I just didn't feel like doing a thing. But I knew it was not His desire for me to just sit all day and do nothing. I was home all day Tuesday and yesterday morning... I needed out of the house. So I called my "Nanny Betty"- she's my surrogate grandmother here in Knoxville :) I spent a few hours with her yesterday afternoon and was just so thankful the Lord gave me that time- it was like a breath of fresh air. We talked some, just sat some in silence (which I love. It's something about elder women who have walked with the Lord for some time... they can just be quiet and it's not awkward. Like me, I'm young and not so mature in Christ, I feel a constant need to just fill silence with words.)... we sat in the swing in the front yard and walked in the garden. Gabbi loved it too... she was so good, and just let Nanna Betty love all over her. She told me something so simple, yet so profound... first, she just reminded me that even in this time God is present with me, she reminded me that He'll never leave nor forsake me. Which I know, but it's always good to be reminded. Then she said this: Maybe during this time He may not be revealing Himself to me, to see if I'm going to trust Him even when I don't sense His presence. We can't base our relationship with God on experience after experience, on our emotions. Pastor has said several times that our feelings are so fical... this I know, but I must trust God more than I trust my couch! Never once have I ever sat down on my couch and wondered if it was going to hold me... yet I question my all-powerful Father? Oh Lord, forgive me!

Dustin started his new job with Greg this week. He absolutely loves it, and really sees a future in it. It's really exactly what we've been praying for... for him to be able to learn a "trade" that will continue to provide for us in the future. I even started a part-time at-home job this week. Filling out addresses and stuffing envelopes. God is just providing for us continually. He is so faithful... over and over again.

Gabbi is officially- as of this past weekend- walking full speed ahead. She's unstoppable now! It was so funny watching her walking with Kate Willis today. Kate is 13months and Gabbi is just 10, she looks so tiny walking beside Kate- who is almost a head taller than her.
It's 7 weeks until Gabbi's first birthday- that is incredible to me!
Where does the time go???

1 comment:

Katrina said...

Where did your parents move to? Glad Dustin likes his new job and that you could find something to do from home! I wish I could! =)