So we moved the date up again.
Actually not our decision this time... the church kinda had a miscommunication and double-scheduled us with a prayer conference the same weekend. Ooops.

JANUARY 5th.
...Invitations are ordered ...no more date changes.

Although, at times I get so frustrated with all the planning. The invitations. The reception. The decorations. The little tiny details that people ask me about-- like what kinda table decorations do I want. You know what? I really don't care. I don't care about flowers; I don't care about parking; I don't care about pew bows; I don't care about the size font on my invitations; I don't care if the candles are yellow, red, white, or if they have COWS on them! I don't care about how "elegant" or "informal" the reception is.
I DONT CARE.
I heard that there's a high percentage of elopes for long engagements. I see why.
Not that our engagement is long by any stretch of the word... just that I don't think I could put up with wedding planning for 10 months or a year. No way. And people really don't take me seriously when I say I don't care.
Should I care? I mean really, I'm just not uptight about the minor details.
I just want the ceremony to glorify God. I want it to be pleasing to Him.
I just simply want to marry the man God has blessed me with. No details matter.
We didn't even want a reception really... neither of us had peace with spending 1000's of dollars on a wedding. But my dad really insisted on having a reception. So we're doing it.

There are kids starving in Africa... do you think I care about table cloths?

I'm relatively calm the majority of the time; I promise.
The thing I'm having the most fun with is the slide show for the reception... not cake arrangements.
After a frustrating afternoon I begged him to lets just get married next weekend.
He decided that wasn't a rational decision... I'm glad he's sane when I'm not.

Okay wow.
My head is basically spinning right now.
For the past hour or so I was looking at my old XANGA site. That was a crazy experience. How much has changed since a year ago!!!
Daniel was in Iraq.
Ashley and I did basically everything together.
Laura and I really weren't close yet.
I worked at the daycare & didn't eat meat.
I was absolutely, completely, no reservations, head-over-heels, ON FIRE for the Lord.
Wow.
And now Ashley and I are getting married.
Laura is in Mexico (Praise Jesus! no doubt)
Briana is in Cookeville.
Wow.

Continuing to read on and just seeing how Laura and I got closer... and then reading through at some of our "inside jokes" *I'm gonna go Waodoni on you* (Remember that? lol)
Man... made me kinda miss you Laura.
Made me kinda know exactly what I was talking about in one of my posts when I said this life is a vapor.
Oh how it really is. What are we doing?

This weekend at my aunt's kinda drained me. On one hand-- it was a lot of fun. Relaxing. It was nice to ask "hey what time is it" and Dustin say "I don't know" and that be OK! No schedule. Just relaxing. Him and my uncle got along so well too. Which was great.
On the other hand... the indifference of that community was sickening. To both of us actually. It's one of those "ritzy" communities where everyone has money and drives big, new SUVs and luxury cars. Where everyone has their kids up and show them off-- they're spoiled rotten. Just kinda spiritually draining.
After the Thomas Young conference, and (yet another) devotional out of My Utmost, God is speaking to me. Revealing things to me. Which I praise Him for.
Please pray for me.

Just wanted to update again cuz I haven't.
I need some intentional solitude with my King right now though.
(Never enough of that. )

PS. If no one knew... I adore Judy Rogers. God is so good to me to have her in my life.
I know you all know what I mean.

this thing is so confusing.
i think i need help. lol.

Okay, so this is my first post. I don't know how well I'll keep up with it, this is a little more confusing than xanga anyway. I'm sure I'll be able to figure it out though.

I work at the coffee house, which is a blessing (on most days) because you never know who will walk through the doors. Some random guy from Australia came in today... I love just getting to talk to people- you'll never know what you'll learn. I told him I was in Kenya for the summer as a missionary... his parents used to missionaries in Zambia while he was little- how cool is that? Then David Haynes came in... man, God just blesses my heart everytime I talk to anyone from that family. God just started speaking to him about a sermon he's going to be doing, so he was telling me about it and was all excited to get into the Word... neat. I love that excitement. Passion. It's incredible. You know that kind of excitement that just rubs off on you? That's what I'm feeling right now.

Okay anyway, I was reading in My Utmost... today. God has used that to speak to me so much the past couple months that I've been home. The verses today were from Luke 9:57-61.
In verse 58 Jesus says "...the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head." The way Oswald Chambers puts it, is that it destroys the idea that serving Christ is a pleasant thing to do. Wow. On one hand that just ignites inside of me a greater desire to go onto the mission field (which is where I know I'm called-- whether that means stateside missions, or international, God will show us in time.) But on the other hand, I remember being in Kenya and how amazing it was but at the same time I remember the hard times-- on loneliness or the longing to see my friends and family. There is much joy in serving the Lord, yes, but Chambers has also said not to confuse the joy of Christ with happiness.
In verse 61 a man said "Lord, I will follow you, but let me first..." (I dont feel a need to finish that verse). Chambers says this person is intently ready to go, but never goes. Wow (again). Oh the excuses we come up with!!! I feel my heart breaking because I know these people... my prayer is that I will never be one of them.
...start going and never stop...
Dustin and I always pray that we continue to be totally abandoned to the will of the Lord.
What does it look like? That abandonment?
He says is looks like Kenya. It looks like Guadalajara. (Talking about my going to Kenya this summer... and my parents and Laura going to Mexico.)
There is no "yes, Lord, but first..."
I am so excited that my parents (who are right now in MX) left without any "buts".
And I am thrilled for Laura and what God will do with your obedience to Him.
"He who calls you is faithful" (1 Thess 5:24)
Oh, He is SO faithful!!!

God bless yall.