Today has been an odd day. A great day, but just different. My thoughts on the election will maybe be in a later post... but currently, I feel peace.
No, I do not support Barack Obama. I believe Romans 13:1-5 is a command to submit to the authority of the government, not a command to support it. Until the day that Obama falls at the feet or my Savior, and his policies follow my Savior's commands as well, I will never support Barack Obama. That's all I will say for now... This was not the point of this blog, but I could get carried away.
I have peace though... only because my peace comes from One so much greater than any authority in this world.

I feel like sometimes my life goes through themes... and during these periods there are songs I fall in love with. Theme songs- so cheesey- that's a joke.
Anyone who is married must know marriage is so hard. Someone I greatly admire, a preacher by the name of Paul Washer, once explained it in a way I will not do justice. But so many people say that God made their spouse just for them, to make them a better person, to complete them, etc. This is not an entirely true statement. Yes- I fully believe God has ordained Dustin to be my husband from eternity past. But he has characteristics in him, that touch every never in my body... drive me crazy even. Those things in him are to peal away layers of myself that do not please to Lord. To make me look more like Christ. When two fallen people come together in marriage, apart from Christ, it is going to be a disaster.
I'm so thankful for Christ. With the world shouting from every angle lies from the pit of hell- "you deserve to be happy, it's all that matters" "you do whatever is right for you" "if he treats you bad, leave him"- no wonder the divorce rate is nearing, if not passing, 50%.
Dustin and I have had our share of hard days already. They say the first two years of marriage are the hardest... I could attest to that, even though we haven't made it to are third yet. With getting engaged, married, and have our first child all within one life-altering year, how could it be anything but hard.

That brings me to the song. I wasn't crazy about it at first... most songs I'm not crazy about at first, but totally cynical (God is working on me about that). When I saw the movie "Fireproof" it totally changed my perspective of this song. If you haven't seen Fireproof... go see it. It is without a doubt (aside from the Chronicles of Narnia, but really it's incomparable b/c it's totally different) the best movie I have ever seen. This song played at the end. There really is so much truth in these lyrics.

Warren Barfield: love is not a fight
Love is not a place
To come and go as we please
It's a house we enter in
And then commit to never leave

So Lock the door behind you
Throw away the key
We'll work it out together
Let it bring us to our knees

Love is a shelter in the raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
If we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

To some, love is a word
That they can fall into
But when they're falling out
Keeping that word is hard to do

Love is a shelter in the raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
If we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it's something worth fighting for

Love will come to save us
If we'll only call
He will ask nothing of us
But demand we give our all

So much truth. It's a current favorite.
Maybe I'll be better about blogging these next few days.

"Oh Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth! You have set You glory above the heavens." Psalm 8:1

We went camping this weekend, and I picture the enormous mountains and the blanket of bright stars across the sky as I read this verse. Oh, He commanded the mountains the rise up and they did. He commanded the stars to hang and shine, and they did. His creativity and beauty amaze me. I can't imagine and God that is even more beautiful than the stars in the sky... but He is.
We went to Bandy Creek in Oneida. Which is apparently one of the darkest places in the eastern US b/c there is no big city really near to it. So it's one of the best places to look at stars- or so they say. I mean, I would believe it. I don't know if I've ever seen stars that clear in my life. We rode down this long dirt road away from our campsite to this clearing in the woods. Dustin and I (along with Kristin and Derek) lied on the road and just watched the stars. (Probably one of the most "memorable" moments of our marriage). I was just lying there in awe of our great God... isn't that the point of His creation? He created all things for His glory, so shouldn't we just give Him glory when we wonder at His creation? I just love it. So we were lying there for a few minutes and I said quietly to myself (but Dustin did hear me) "Lord, please let me see a falling star tonight!" A few minutes later, a star fell from the sky... then another... then another... then another! Four falling stars within minutes of each other!! I was so excited I was practically in tears. I was telling Dustin "Did you hear me? Did you hear me ask the Lord for a falling star?? And then He gave me four!" Dustin replied "Yeah, I heard you. You asked the Lord and you know what He said? 'That's My daughter, and I love her SO much, and she wants to see a falling star, so I'm going to give that to her'. Then He called the star by name, and commanded it to fall, at it obeyed joyfully." The star, when commanded, said "YES LORD." It obeyed Him, and was happy to do so... oh to be like the stars in the sky! Who joyfully and willingly obey our God in everything!
It was an amazing night.

So it's been a really long week.
My parents moved Monday- literally the first time of my life I've been away from them. It's been hard. I just feel like I'm in a "dry" place with the Lord this week. I was explaining to someone that, when I've read this week, I feel like I'm not retaining anything. And when I've prayed, for the first time in my walk with the Lord it's like my prayers have hit the roof. I know He's there, I just can't sense Him there. Yesterday I was just overcome with sadness and I just didn't feel like doing a thing. But I knew it was not His desire for me to just sit all day and do nothing. I was home all day Tuesday and yesterday morning... I needed out of the house. So I called my "Nanny Betty"- she's my surrogate grandmother here in Knoxville :) I spent a few hours with her yesterday afternoon and was just so thankful the Lord gave me that time- it was like a breath of fresh air. We talked some, just sat some in silence (which I love. It's something about elder women who have walked with the Lord for some time... they can just be quiet and it's not awkward. Like me, I'm young and not so mature in Christ, I feel a constant need to just fill silence with words.)... we sat in the swing in the front yard and walked in the garden. Gabbi loved it too... she was so good, and just let Nanna Betty love all over her. She told me something so simple, yet so profound... first, she just reminded me that even in this time God is present with me, she reminded me that He'll never leave nor forsake me. Which I know, but it's always good to be reminded. Then she said this: Maybe during this time He may not be revealing Himself to me, to see if I'm going to trust Him even when I don't sense His presence. We can't base our relationship with God on experience after experience, on our emotions. Pastor has said several times that our feelings are so fical... this I know, but I must trust God more than I trust my couch! Never once have I ever sat down on my couch and wondered if it was going to hold me... yet I question my all-powerful Father? Oh Lord, forgive me!

Dustin started his new job with Greg this week. He absolutely loves it, and really sees a future in it. It's really exactly what we've been praying for... for him to be able to learn a "trade" that will continue to provide for us in the future. I even started a part-time at-home job this week. Filling out addresses and stuffing envelopes. God is just providing for us continually. He is so faithful... over and over again.

Gabbi is officially- as of this past weekend- walking full speed ahead. She's unstoppable now! It was so funny watching her walking with Kate Willis today. Kate is 13months and Gabbi is just 10, she looks so tiny walking beside Kate- who is almost a head taller than her.
It's 7 weeks until Gabbi's first birthday- that is incredible to me!
Where does the time go???

I know I'm from East Tennessee...

So, my daughter is 10 months old today. She is getting SO big! It's unbelievable to process she's gone through this past year. I am amazed at her everyday. She's walking!!! This past week especially she's taken huge steps (literally and figuratively lol). She's going from one side of the room to the other, getting faster and faster. I love it. I love watching her learn and grow.

For a 10month old she's pretty verbal. I'm not saying this b/c every parent wants their kid to be a genius or something, but I do think she's pretty advance. I mean, she's walking you know? But she just babbles non-stop. I wouldn't know really, b/c she's our first, but my mom said even her babbling is "big girl".

Well, like the typical infant, Gabbi has mastered babbling "words" such as "ma-ma-ma-ma" and "da-da-da-da", without really knowing exactly who mama and dada are. Lately, I think she's understanding more, mainly b/c Dustin and I will pat our chests like "cave" man and talk to her like she deaf saying "MA-MA" or "DA-DA" lol. A couple weeks ago, however, my mom was babysitting her. They have a dog named Dexter, whom we've always affectionately called "Bubba". Mom and Gabbi were in the living room, and mom, speaking to the dog says "What are you doing, Bubba?" When to her astonoshment Gabbi repeats "Buh-Buh". Later than evening when Dustin and I showed up, mom retold the story to us. When telling it, she replayed it word for word and said "And then Gabbi goes---" and Gabbi cut her off, filling in the blank herself "Buh-Buh". Hilarious!!!
I know I'm from East Tennessee when my daughter's first word is Bubba!
Only to make the situation "worse".... not only does she babble to word "Bubba", but she knows exactly who Bubba is. We were at mom's today, and Gabbi looked directly and the dog and says "Bubba... Bubba."

Oh my...

hello all!

i'm here to apologize for how long it has been since i have blogged! here's the excuse: no internet. hopefully SOON we will have our computer and have it hooked up. my parents are going to give us one of there's.... graciously. but there's a few steps i guess that need to be taken care of until then. we've moved... about a month ago. and since we have a new place i'm not here at my parent's nearly as much. and when i am, it's not for as long. so i just don't take the time to sit and blog.

what's new? we have moved, like i said, and it is SO much better than our old place. the Lord just provided for us and He's making it our home (temporarily of course). we've had people over, which i've missed terribely. i love opening up my home to friends and to talk about the Lord and to fellowship! sunday nights the past few weeks we've had friends over after church to hang out and play games... i think we're beginning a tradition.
kristin and derek (some of our very best friends) get home tomorrow!!!!!!! they've been in india all summer on mission, and i really can't believe how quickly the time has gone. i'm beyond thrilled.
lastly... i've been praying about going to the TrueWoman Conference in Chicago since january. first it was a financial thing, we just didnt have the money. then, i realized i could go for a little cheaper, and all the women going already had rooms and everything. i didn't have anyone to room with, and no one could go. so last week i was just talking to the Lord about it, and saying maybe it's just not His will, maybe this isn't my time and i'm not meant to go.... so on. thursday night we went the bethel's and one couple was there that i don't really hang out with much. she was asking me if i was going and i sort of explained to her the situation and she said "well, you can stay with us!" they had a room and everything. i am so thrilled!!! i ordered my ticket today, and cannot wait for october!! it will be here before we know it. i feel like i really need to get my heart prepared to hear a huge word from Him. i love nancy leigh demoss, and some of my favorite singers are leading worship. it's going to be amazing... the Lord has been revealing Himself to me in a great way lately and i'm so thankful He has willed me to go!

speaking of october being here before we know it, gabbi will be one in october. less than three more months! she is getting so big... seriously about to be walking!

it may be another few weeks before i get on here again, but hopefully soon i'll have a computer and internet!
love to all!!

Thoughts on Narnia

Last night we had a "fajita night" with our Lifegroup (Sunday School). Gabbi stayed the night with my parents. I had thought maybe we'd take advantage and go to be early... however, when Daniel and Ashley said they were going to see the new Narnia movie, we got a crazy hair and were out until TWO. Well worth it though.... I think.
First we went by their place (they live in the apartments we are going to moving into). It was pretty exciting to see where we're going to be living. Dustin and I talked about where we'd put our furniture and I started getting visuals of where I'd hang certain things. I'm SO excited!
Then we rode together downtown to the Riviera (sp?). I'd never been to the that theater. I really liked it... it was a cool, spring night and there were outdoor escalators- which I'd never seen. It was just fun. Had we gone earlier I would've wanted to walk around market square and really get the "feel" of being downtown on a spring night. But... the movie was at 10:45 and by the time it was over we were all half asleep and the city was definitely dead.

The movie though... Oh, it was SO good! Equally as good, if not better, than the first. I love the symbolism in it... and how I can see the Christian parallel. On the way home I told Dustin, I really don't know how a non-Christian can get anything out of it. I mean, I guess yeah, they would see them as "good moral ideas" or something. But it is just so clear I don't know how they could deny it. I don't know if that makes sense?
The entire underlying theme is faith, in short. When Narnia was being attacked, Aslan wasn't showing his face to them clearly, and they started to doubt/ stopped believing. (All except Lucy, really). Then they began to do things in their own strength, and failed miserabley. *This is all a brief synopsis of what I took from it* The picture so much resembles our walk with the Lord- when His plan is not completely clear to us, do we still rest in Him? Do we still seek Him and His desires for our lives even when we don't understand? It really spoke to me in our situation right now- or maybe more a week ago.
My favorite scene, and it was truly thought provoking, was when Lucy was reunited with Aslan. One time she was dreaming, the next time was for real and near the end of the movie. The first time though, the flowers and trees around her seemed to come alive and we dancing. And Lucy just laughed and smiled. The second time, when she saw Aslan, she tackled him and they kinda rolled on the ground laughing. I really contemplate this. So often our picture of the Lord is of Him reigning over us, pointing His finger at us when we are in the wrong- possibley even a stern look on His face. Or maybe even if He's not "angry" at us... do we picture Him laughing with us playfully? The Bible says He delights in us. I truly think this is what it looks like for Him to delight in us. I love to think of Lucy's relationship with Aslan in light of mine with God. This morning at church even thinking of me seeing Jesus, tackling Him to the ground and laughing with Him inspired my heart to worship. Oh, how I long to rid this body of flesh, see my King face to face, hold him, laugh with Him... how I long to know His delight in me, even me...

I've told this story a couple times. But I was thinking a couple weeks ago about Gabbi. How I love her more than I ever thought capable, and how my love for her only grows as she grows. How Dustin and I love to watch her as she's growing, learning new things- the first time she rolled over, sat up, and now as she tries SO hard to crawl and is taking new strides each day. Even when she plays, Dustin and I can sit forever watching her, just smiling and practically drooling over her! WE DELIGHT IN HER. God showed me a couple weeks ago the picture: we as Gabbi's parents, Him as our Parent. And if we, being fallen love her and delight in her so much, how much greater HE delights in US. Oh, Father the things You teach me through my child! I loved this image.

The Lord knows my longing to truly know and believe His love for me. He's showing me new things each day. I'm just basking in it... His glory... He's amazing.

"Strengthen the weak hands, and make firm the feeble knees. Say to those who have an anxious heart, 'Be strong; fear not! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God. He will come and save you.'" Isaiah 35:3-4

I love the mention of anxious hearts... oh, my heart has been anxious. But the Lord is my strength. Yes, He will come and save me. Oh, He rewards those who seek Him!! I've been seeking Him more strongly as of late, and my heart is learning to trust Him. He proves Himself faithful over and over.

Yesterday, we had our third door close on a new job. The last of the landscaping guys that Dustin had worked for said he didn't need anymore workers right now, but he'd "keep him in mind" (as all the others have said). Today though, he (Jeff) called Dustin back and asked him when he'd be able to start working for him. Dustin explained to him that if it would be stable, and if he could get the hours he needs, he could start next week. Then again Jeff said he'll call back tomorrow and let him know. Well, he called back tonight. Dustin missed the call though, but he left a voice mail saying- yes, I can make you stable and get you 45-50 hours a week.
WOW, Lord. That is exactly what we've been praying for for MONTHS!!
Oh, how we've waited- sometimes patiently, sometimes not so patiently- but waited we have.

He's better than we deserve. An apartment. A new job. We got our tax rebate today. He's so good.

Just giving an update. I'll be updating more soon :) Love to all!

Whirlwind.

Today started off great.
For the past couple months it's been this battle- I am SO ready to move out of our apartment. One bedroom. No windows (we're in a basement). No bathtub (just a stand-up shower stall). The smallest kitchen imaginable. And our "living room" is our livingroom/ dining room/ laundry room/ office/ and Gabbi's playroom- all in one! It's pretty much impossible to keep clean, really.
The Lord knows our needs. He knows what we can (and can't) afford. I've had to give it to Him over and over... it's been a battle of trusting Him, then taking it back, then trusting Him, then questioning Him. I've told myself that I really believed He wasn't going to give us a new place until I was content with where He had us. Phil 4:11 "...for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content." Oh how did Paul do it?? Well, I've been trying. Sometimes, in my own strength, sometimes in His.
It's just been one of the *many* battles I'm wrestling with. Trusting & believing the Lord being the underlying theme. Dustin needs a new job- desperately NEEDS a new job. And everywhere we turn it's a closed door. Oh Lord, in Your timing we know!
I'm praying.... It's a growing time for sure.
With my parents moving this summer... they've already had an offer go through with their house, so it's just a matter of time. And my brother moving... I just feel like my head is spinning.
Oh Katie, pray for me to really practice what you were talking about last night. Face to face with the Lord. Not looking around, or back, face to face- mine to His. That's really been sticking out to me.
Sometimes it's so hard for me to truly believe that His way is the best- that He really wants the BEST for me. When we're living in this cramped apartment, struggling to pay bills (but He provides), and now all my family is moving away... this is the Lord's best for me.
Face to face.
I needed some encouragement. So this morning when Gabbi went down I sat on my bed (also my couch lol.) And opened up my bible and Praying God's Word (Beth Moore). I really didn't even know where to begin... there's so much in my heart and mind that I want to lay out before the Lord that I don't even know how to communicate it with Him. Praise Him that He understands me better than I do.
My phone rings. The apartment complex where we were on a waiting list. They have a place for us! So... the middle of June we will be moving on! And yes, to a place that is twice as big and less expensive (if you can believe it).
How sweet of Him??? Lord, You ARE good. Just to lift up my head when I need it the most. I know He will have a job for Dustin in His time, and He will sustain us until then. I have to believe it.
So I read on in Hebrews. "And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him" (v. 11:6). It's funny how I always have heard the first part of this verse, but never really focused in on the second part. He rewards those who seek Him. In the MacArthur, the footnotes led to a verse in Chronicles.
"And you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father and serve Him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek Him, He will be found by you..." 1 Chron 28:9
I can rest in the fact that He understands every plan and thought. But what does it look like to serve God with a willing mind?? I've been praying for Him to show me that today. A whole heart and a willing mind. Does a willing mind worry about time or space or money? Does it continuously jump from one thought to another about how's and why's and where's? Maybe a willing mind is a mind that is stayed on Him. Any thoughts are welcome ones.

This is just where my thoughts have left me as of now.

Tuesday was my last day at work. Oh, what a freeing feeling!!! I can stay at home with my baby now- always, everyday! My heart is overjoyed at what the Lord has for me at home. I've been learning so much about who He created me to be as a woman- a helper to my husband and all that entails; a mother to my child(ren) and all that entails. It can be quite overwhelming... but I know that with Him and His Spirit I will be able to accomplish what I am supposed to.
So here begins my journey as a "stay-at-home mom". I can't wait to see the things He's going to teach me and where He's going to lead me.

Okay. So I know it's been, what, a year???


What can be said about a year?? I dont know... but I do know I desperately want to begin keeping my blog updated. I say that now, and may even begin to do well for a couple months... then I'll probably fall behind again. That's typically how it goes right?





Okay.... so a year... Let's give it a whirl:
JUNE '07-- we moved back to Powell, back into a 1-bedroom basement apartment. Might I add, no windows. Not the greatest of living conditions... but we have a roof over our head and solid four walls, which is better than the greater majority of the world. (oh, and indoor plumming) Who am I to complain?


JULY-- we went to Lynchburg to my grandparents w/ Kristin and Derek. Where I began this downward spiral of intense SWELLING. July was a rough month... physically and spiritually. The Lord began changing some things in me in some pretty hard ways.


AUGUST-- the humidity was aweful and I would've sworn to you that it was a record-breakingly hot summer. Peaking pregnant at the peak of summer is not a desirable combonation. I began working at KPA this month. A real change of pace as far as jobs go.


SEPTEMBER-- Working almost full time hours, being able to wears scrubs to work being 9 months pregnant was nice. But getting little to no sleep wasn't much fun.... had a couple "scares" this month where we found ourselves in Labor & Delivery at some odd hours of the night. But no baby!


OCTOBER-- Gabrielle Elena Haddock made her way into the world on the 9th! My world went through a loop at this point. Things would never be back to "normal" ever again.


NOVEMBER-- with the new addition to hour family came some new shaping and reshaping of my heart. November was the beginning of what I truly beleive was an outpouring of our Lord's Holy Spirit on mine and Dustin's lives. Oh how amazing is He that He does not leave us as He has found us?!?? Peeling away parts that do not please Him, reshaping and molding us to make us into His image. What an amazing and beautiful God we serve. Sooo much to be thankful for!


DECEMBER '08-- praise the Lord our nights got better... as she was sleeping through the night at just 7 weeks old!!! Merry first Christmas, and....... OMG there is something so not pleasant crawling across my floor right now??


....what is that??!?!...... the mystery bug has disappeared. i dont know if that is a good thing or a bad thing?? I've lost my train of thought. *sigh* okay. i went back to work this month as well.


JANUARY--Happy New Year. Happy 1st Anniversary to us.... both of which we rung in w/ Kristin & Derek lol. The end of the month was Gabbi's first road trip to see Aunt Cindy, Uncle Kevin, and our cousin Gracie. She did SO well!!


FEBRUARY-- Happy Bday Dustin! Gabbi had her first solid foods... beginning a neverending, ever-increasing love & desire for food. lol. She can't get enough food, really. Second set of shots this month also. Then a random fever virus for about a week near the end of the month. But we never did figure out what it was. She recovered extrememly well, it was just kinda here and gone. She's such a healthy girl! Dustin & I went to Clear Creek Bible College this month, because we were seriously praying about and really "set" on going to school next fall. We drove up to "tour" (which took an entire 5 minutes) the campus and see what it offered. We really were set on it... but still prayed and searched God's will, and He gave us no peace about it in the long run. For several reasons we decided it was not His timing for us to go to school. Kinda crazy, because we were so "sure" it was what we were going to do... but our Lord is so faithful to reveal Himself to us when our true desire is His will. What a good God we serve.


MARCH-- Okay, so if we're staying here we must buy a house right? Thus began our search for our first home. Yes. Crazy. I know. We were pre-approved for a loan and even put an offer on one which they turned down. That's okay.... a couple weeks of prayer and house hunting, and the Lord showed us otherwise. So... we're pretty much staying put and waiting upon Him, what better thing is there to do than that??


Gabbi's first Easter was this month.... Easter was a beautiful season for our family. Just a great time to reckon on our Savior and what He accomplished for us on the cross... and seeking Him and what His desire is for us as a family. How His desire for us is to be truly set apart from the world... looking nothing like the world. Following hard after Him.... raising our child(ren) with Him as our rock- and what the REALLY looks like. So many things.... This blog cannot contain.





So now, I have a 6-month-old baby girl who the Lord has used to turn my world upside down.

I dont know where life is headed at this point. Where in the world He is going to send us.... or what we are to do there. But I know this: in January, on the 1st literally, I prayed and prayed over our year. I asked His blessing and He gave me the verse Phil 3:13 "This one thing I do: Forgetting whas is behind and looking forward to lies ahead." That has been my verse for 2008, thus far. I just want to know Him deeper. I want to be the wife & mother He has called me to be... and oh, has He been so faithful. He's teaching me. I'm learning. Some things are painful. All things are glorious!

I want to write about what goes on. Truly. I do.

IT'S A GIRL!!!

(for those who haven't heard yet... if there's anyone)

I don't know where to start about covering the past two months, b/c that's how long it's been since I've been on here. Sorry. My mom bought me this book I've been reading... it's about "spiritual preparation" for new moms. I've needed it. It just talks about a lot of stuff that's been on my heart, and backs everything she talks about with scripture. It's so good. She confronts fear- which has been a huge thing for me. And she talks about our baby being IN the will of God- I mean, stuff I know in my head, but reading everything in scripture that talks about children, and talks about them being a blessing from God, and that talks about God creating our child, it just brings it so much more to the heart. I've realized some sin that's been in my heart through this book as well...

Just like with us getting married, there have been people that have been less than excited about us having a baby now too. (I'm not going to name names) But comments they've made, or even the lack of comments they've made, have had my mind going in circles. The first trimester was pretty hard for me- with being sick and the idea of us having a child becoming real to me- it's been hard. I've second guessed a lot of things that I shouldn't. All because of some few people... When really, all the people that "matter" (for lack of a better way to put it) are 100% supportive, excited, and know this child is from God. But just through those few negative people (who do call themselves Christians) Satan was starting this war in my mind.

So about a month or so, maybe more, ago I realized this... started really going to the Lord, and began to get genuinely excited about our baby. He started to deliver me from fear, from second-guessing, from all those things... but I was becoming really bitter toward the people who don't support us and aren't happy for us. I became angry, and in anger, wanted to (pretty much) throw scripture in their face and say "see! now be happy for us!" ....but shortly after feeling that I was convicted. Not saying it's all gone, when I allow myself to I still get pretty frustrated, but the Lord's dealing with me. So you can just pray for me about that :)

On another note, I've felt Gabrielle move a couple times!!! Not lately... but I know it's infrequent in the beginning. Before too long she's going to be kicking me like crazy. I still don't know how to figure out the scanner (sorry Laura) but I will as soon as I can and put up ultrasound pics. It's so funny, the ultra sound tech said she's going to have long skinny feet... I had long skinny feet when I was born and as a kid. Ahhh!!! :-D

Anyway, we heard this song on the radio the other day (an oldie, but goody), and Dustin kinda put his hand on my stomach as we were singing it and now when I hear it (or even sometimes sing it to myself), I picture her, and it's just a prayer on my heart...

In open fields of wild flowers, she breathes the air and flies away

She thanks her Jesus for the daises and the roses in no simple language

Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all

He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens

As close a heartbeat or a song on her lips

Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him

Someday He'll call her and she will come running

and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and she'll pray,

"I want to fall in love with You", "I want to fall in love with You"...

Okay, I gotta meet Amanda for breakfast this morning, then I'm off to work (don't have to be in till 11 this week and next, so that's a nice break)!!!

Okay, so I know it's been a while. Sorry sorry to any faithful readers.

Things are going well. The new job isn't tiring me out as bad as it was in the beginning. Just when I'm getting used to it though, in April they don't need me. So I'm going back to my old job at the daycare center. I'm pretty excited about it... less hours than I'm working now, but I'm getting paid almost the same. Georgia (my old boss) gave me a raise! woah! Wasn't expecting that... thank You, Lord. We were really concerned that this month was going to be a struggle for us. Of course, why be concerned when we have a God like ours guiding and protecting us??

He's shown Himself faithful over and over and over again.... He continues to.

We're moving this weekend. Yes. Moving. This weekend. As in, tomorrow we get the keys to what will be our new house!!! And yes, as in, we have to be out of our house now by Sunday, the 1st. Um, yes, this was just for sure yesterday... and we have nothing done even today, I'm not too stressed out yet. lol.

So I'll let you know what happened. Right now we're renting a 1 bedroom house, but we got a wonderful rate on it-- less than anything we'd pay for an apt. But of course, it's 1 bedroom (and we'll need 2) no yard (which is okay, but I'd like any kinda of yard). So we've been praying about oppurtunities, and just God's guidance in where He wants us to go. Well, Monday Dustin came home from work and he said he got a call from someone at his old church who has rental properties around Knoxville. Frank (this guy) just got through renovating this house-- 2 bedrooms, brand new linoleum in the kitchen and bathroom, brand new appliances, fenced yard. BARELY more than what we're paying right now. Again, no lease and no deposits!! Praise God!! I mean, we'd wait, because we have time obviously... but this guy isn't gonna hold the house for us and we don't expect him too. I there's no way we'll find another decent house or apt for the price he's gonna charge us. So, we have to be out by the 1st. We owe rent on the 1st, and can't exactly afford to pay two rents in a month... so yes. This weekend. I'm excited though. So Laura, really, I'll post pictures of this house. I promise.

Here's Lily:

How cute is she??

I've been feeling better. Lily's dad prescribed me some Zofran. EXPENSIVE stuff. Everywhere I went wanted 100-something dollars; obviously we can't afford that. So someone told me to go to Vaughn's (a local pharmacy here) and tell the owner our problem. We did. And he charged me $20 for twice as many pills as I was prescribed. Incredible. There's the Lord providing for us again. ahhhh!! Still can barely brush my teeth. I bet my breath smells right now lol. jk. kinda.

Anyway... tomorrow's my second Dr appointment! I'm 11wks 1day. Almost out of the 1st trimester!!! That's so hard to believe. I'll update soon I hope. This weekend will be crazy- moving... and Dustin gets baptized on Sunday... and then Monday and Tuesday I'll be out of town to NC. My old friend Matt is coming home from Iraq, so my family is going to go and be there for him. Should be good... He's doing really well, always talking about what God's doing in his life, and what God is showing him. Who woulda known a year ago that he'd be where he is now??? Only the Lord :) So hopefully sometime next week I'll get a chance to be back on here.

Michelle- thanks for the comment! It's good to hear from you... do you have a blog?? Love you!

hey laura! i've been praying for you and the team... oh i wish i could be there so bad!! i can't wait to hear how everything is going. PLEASE call me when you can this week. *i love you*

my week though, on the otherhand. i began vomitting friday, it's like a nonstop thing ever since. today was the worst. i have thrown up (literally) everything i've eaten today. i feel miserable... i'm going to call my doctor tomorrow to see what he says b/c i can't keep anything down anymore.
and that is my update. my news. however boring or sickening...
because i've been worse, lily has been harder to handle. i'm bringing her over to my mom's tomorrow. good ole mom! she's gonna help me out. i'm so tired and weak and worn out.

only a few more weeks of this. i'm off next week. that is just from the Lord b/c He knew i'd need it.

So it's been a few days... This new job is keeping me on my toes!! It's fun though; wears me out, but it's fun. I'm enjoying the weather today. Well wait, let me just tell you about today...

Yesterday I really wanted to get Lily out and go for a walk b/c it was so pretty. I looked all over the house and couldn't find her stroller; I assume her parents keep it in the car. So today I forgot to ask them for it, so I called my mom, she said she has an umbrella stroller around here somewhere. So I was gonna take Lily to Powell, hang out w/ my mom and go for a walk- just really enjoy this gorgeous day. Well, this morning I left my cell phone at home; I didn't want to go out without my cell phone b/c then Dani (Lily's mom) wouldn't be able to get ahold of me and neither would Dustin. Since we live so close, I swung by my house real quick- get Lily all out of the car (she is heavy in the car seat!) run in the house, put on some jeans, grab Lily, lock up the house, then load her back in the car (make sure that seat belt's tight!).... I locked my keys in the house. Praise God I had a spare key to my car IN my car- no telling why, but I did. However, I'm locked out of Lily's house and our house and stranded in Powell for the time being until my husband gets off work at 3:30. And praise God I remembered to bring her extra bottle for when she wakes up (she's sleeping right now). Oh... and just for the record, my mom can't find that umbrella strolly- no walk :( I'll throw a blanket out there though and have her play outside.

I've been feeling bad again this week. I don't know exactly why. Well, since the doctor I've been back on some vitamins. That really may be part of it. I mean, not as bad as I was before, but still pretty bad. Dani is an Ob/Gyn and is totally syched that I'm pregnant. She really was encouraging and telling me that one day in April I'll fall asleep at night feeling worn out, tired, sick, nauseous (everything), and wake up feeling GREAT. She said it really is that sudden of a change. Hm. I'm suspicious b/c it sounds too good to be true, yet at the same time I want to believe her (because she's a Dr.) but also because it's something to look forward to.

Had another dream that it was a girl... two nights ago. I dreamt I was in her room (which is funny b/c right now she- or he- has no room b/c our house is one bedroom. but oh well)... it was like pink and khaki everywhere. Pink and khaki striped paint on the wall and the blanket stuff on the crib was pink and khaki polka dots. Pretty cute! lol.

Anyway... it's been a hard week to say the least. Like I said, I do like my new job, but I've been getting up earlier than normal. Keeping up w/ a 6month old. Feeling bad. Just.... the works. Then last night I had another one of those emotional/ hormonal/ pregnant woman crying spells. My poor husband. I love him so much. He's been so good to me.
But still, I'd appreciate prayers.

Doctor's appt went well!!

By the calendar I'm 7weeks, 3days.... and the baby is 7weeks, 2 days developed. Which means... healthy baby!!!

That's the picture from the ultrasound (you can see the little leg "nubs" at the top of it); we heard the heartbeat too.

soooooo excited!!!!

I'll update more later.

Oh yeah... Round #2

The mouse didn't stand a chance.
He is now dead.

They say a woman's (mother's) intuition is 70% correct.

I REALLY really really feel like it's a girl. More and more everyday.
Can't wait to find out.

I go to webMD, as most of you know by now. Recently, I've been getting on the message boards. (Basically, it's addicting) A lot of women have said that when they "just knew" it was something, they were right. Only a few have said when they "just knew"- everytime they were wrong. lol. So basically I either have correct intuition or I don't.

Briana thinks it's a girl...
My aunt-in-law thinks it's a boy...
Dustin thinks it's a boy...
Who else is where?

Man vs. Mouse
Round #1

No. It's not a joke. We have a mouse in our house (vomit). Our goal was to go to bed early last night. So, at around 9:30 we get into bed and I watch the rest of "Super Nanny" (because I'm addicted to that TV show). After the show we turn off the TV, and proceed to *attempt* to fall asleep. As I begin to drift off, I hear a "noise". Now, because I hear every single noise in our house at night, Dustin rarely takes me seriously. He said "If you hear it again, let me know and I'll see what it is". I heard it again... it sounded like something dragging across the counter, like a bowl, that kinda noise. I didn't say anything the second time I heard it, but tried to block it out. A third time (all over a period of about 30mins) I heard something that sounded like spoons clanging together. I freaked out, woke him up, and he checked the kitchen-- nothing.
Sleep attempt #2: Right as I'm drifting off, I hear it again, the dishes-rattling noise... my heart is beating so fast, I just know there is someone in our house. It continued to get louder, so I woke him up again. This time he checked the whole house, not just the kitchen- all the doors, all the windows- bless his heart... I'm crazy. Nothing.
Sleep attempt #3: I am so tired... it's after 11 by this point, and I'm almost asleep. I hear this clicking kinda noise, like something rattling under the sink. Finally, when I woke him up, he heard it too... "That's a mouse," he said. So when he got up and checked out the kitchen this time, there were definitely trails of a mouse-- disgusting.
Well, it was all better for me now... I could sleep peacefully knowing what was making the noise. Though, the fact that there's a mouse in our house is less than peaceful, we said we'd get traps today and set them up. Gone in no time. That didn't do it for Dustin- it's hilarious- like the roles totally reversed. Now I'm trying to get to sleep and he's laying there awake. "I can set up my own trap... I can kill him... I wanna kill him... He's gonna die." LOL!
GREAT WHITE HUNTER. At 12:30 in the morning he's determined to create his own makeshift mouse trap that will trap this mouse. Because I kept him up, he would't let me sleep either. I had to help him. Needless to say, I dont' even know at what time I finally fell asleep. The trap didn't work either.
stay tuned for round #2

I go over to Lily's today to visit her and see the house and stuff. I'm excited about my new job. It's gonna be hard at first I know. She doesnt have a routine- babies are so much easier when they have a routine. So the first few weeks will be trying to do that. My mom said it'll take a few weeks. Well then, I won't even have her in April. I'm just hoping they'll try to stick to the routine after I leave. We'll see... I'm looking forward to a change.

Doctor appointment Friday!!! Ahhhh... I can't wait!!!
I'll ahve more updates then. As for now, Sunday was a good day- I ate all day long. Since then, not really. It's about the same. Sick. Hopefully the doctor will have some suggestions for me.
For right now, there was just a man here in the coffeehouse who was an elder man (kinda weird and creeped me out a little cuz he kept asking me questions), but he wreaked of cologne. He's gone now, and the smell is still lingering and making me sick. Oh, another something wierd: I'm gonna have to get new toothpaste. The taste of mint stuff does not taste good to me anymore at all... I can't eat mints, chew gum, anything. Well lately, everytime I brush my teeth I gag and get really sick. The mint taste. Like, I dread brushing my teeth everyday. Crazy. Hello, kids' bubble gum toothpaste!! lol. jk.

I'm hungry. My mom's at Cracker Barrel and told me to call her if I wanted something. I want something. But calling her is no use since her phone is off. I'm going crazy now. lol.

Okay, so this morning's been pretty good.
I just need to learn how much I can do. When I actually feel good I want to get stuff done, like go somewhere, or clean or something. Then I always end up feeling aweful. Last night was the funeral for Ashley's grandmother... I was so thankful because I was able to go, but when we got home I was just worn out. This morning I did laundry, scrubbed down our kitchen and straightened some things up... and now I'm feeling so sick again. Anyway, that's besides the point.

I had an amazing time with the Lord this morning.
**There's something about when I have my quiet time outside... I used to when I was living with my parents; I'd sit on the porch and read. Since it was gorgeous day I sat out on our porch and read and prayed. You know there's just so much going on right now... I just got married. We haven't even had a chance to really get settled in our house and get it painted and make it our "own" before-BAM- I'm pregnant. Sick. Laying on the couch and really unable to be of much help to anyone. (It's depressing sometimes). And in 8 months there's gonna be a new LIFE in our house. Incredible. The Lord really showed me this morning- there's no way I'm going to be able to make it without relying on Him fully. There's no way I'm not going to be so completely stressed out and a nervous wreck if I don't give it to Him. He cares about me... so I must cast my worries upon Him. Little stuff like the fact that I've needed to put a load of towells in the wash all week does stress me out. So I gave it all to Him this morning... the fact that I want to finally finish painting, the fact that I need to mop our floors again, the laundry, the bills, everything... I just gave it to Him. When I worry about this stuff, it bothers Dustin because then he feels like he needs to do that much more to make up for what I can't do right now, which does effect our relationship. I can't allow it to do that. So instead of complaining to Dustin about what I can't do right now, I just gave it all to my Father. I really feel like a load's off.
**There is so much that God wants to teach me through all of this. This whirlwind of complete life changes right now... so terribley He wants to draw me to Himself... I have to let go of all my expectations and let Him. He's so faithful, so wonderful... oh, I just fell in love with Him all over again this morning... He works all things together for good. I love to cling to that promise. It's a promise because He said it, and it's true, and it will happen.
**I've been reading through Exodus. It's probably one of my favorite books. It's amazing how every single thing that God said was going to happen, happened. How Pharoah thought he was in control of Egypt, and everything that was going on, but he had no power. How the Lord planned everything according to His will, and it was done. That's exactly my situation (except... I'm not in Egypt nor am I holding Israel captive)... but I think things are going to go according to my plan, that I have some sort of control over our house, or the next 8 months, or our child. But I don't and God's will will be done.

Just for everyone (I can say that since I have a whole 3 readers now! lol) Carmichael wasn't nearly my favorite either. That was just part of the brainstorming process. Dustin actually like Gabrielle Danu also. It's different I know, but it is special to me because it's Kenyan. Laura, yeah, I know that no matter how much I say they will or won't be called whatever I know it's gonna happen somewhere down the road- I do think Gabbi's cute, but I like Ellie. I was halfway joking when I said "he will not be called Joey" and so on... Yeah Briana, most of the time before I do something I ask AnnaLisa since I haven't gone to the doctor yet. I'm actually not changing a whole lot that I do before I go next week.
**I had a 2nd dream last night that it was a girl. Bri, I'm starting to have this strong sense that it's gonna be a girl... and I'm about 50% sure that I'm right! lol. Dustin and I got in a (play) "fight" last night because I'm starting to think it's a girl and he's just "so positive" it's a boy. I can't wait to find out.

I know this weather is probably not nearly as warm as Mexico. When I was there in March last year, the morning's were pretty chilly, to where- when I walked to the Oxxo like every morning at 7- I had to still wear a jacket, but it was still so beautiful out... and you could tell later it was going to be warm. That's how it was yesterday morning. When I stepped out in the morning it was a little chilly, but later it was in the 50s. So yeah, it just reminded me of walking to the Oxxo for coffee :) But I do miss Mexico and want so badly to go...

**Prayer Request** Brent Hodson is leading a trip to Kenya in May, and Dustin's praying about going... but he's also is feeling led to Brazil. We're not sure when the Brazil trip is going to be. It was going to be in April, but Dan Amanns said what the was planning fell through. Financially, we can't afford either of them. So pray for God's leading and assurance of what He desires Dustin to do, and for His provision.
As for me, I'm waiting upon the Lord... I was also praying about going to Brazil this year. But, apparently I'm not supposed to eat foreign foods when I'm pregnant lol. I'm enjoying TELL, and going out evangelizing with Betty Amanns. She's about the most godly woman I know, and I'm learning a lot from her. I know that for now, right here is where the Lord has me... but I'm not going to lie, I cannot wait for when He calls us up from the states and places us somewhere else. There is no feeling in the world to me like serving the poor and powerless and being Christ to the lost. I'm so excited for wherever God calls Dustin this year and for him to experience his first time being on mission overseas.
I was listening to Caedmon's Call this morning while I was cleaning.

"The Roses"

High above the valley of Quito

An old man and his bride grow roses

Red and yellow, white and golden,

To him they are precious as children

Their daughter, she moved to America

One more break in the Tower of Babel

She has a son that they've never seen at all

They're praying that they raised her well

CHORUS

On the mountain high

They will live and die

As time just slips away

And the children grow

In the God they know

As time just slips away

A man, his bride, his children, and his roses

Planted in faith

And watered in tears

Honey, that's all they have

And they're happier here

Than any of my friends back home

They met Jesus and they really know Him

CHORUS

Now I'm back at home

All alone

And I'm trying to find my thoughts

Of that old man so inspiring

And the TV's always on

And the phone, it won't stop ringing

These bills, they keep on screaming

I'm paying for the things

We never really need

Wonder what he's doing right now?

Maybe walking through his simple field

Thinking about how

God has blessed him so

A man, his bride, his children, and his roses

I've met that "man"... I met many of them in Kenya. We desire that life so much more than "settling down", buying a "nice" house, driving the "nice" SUV, and living the "American Dream" (which is no more than a nightmare). The last verse of that song just makes me cringe. I'm having to remind myself that these desires Dustin and I have aren't desires that we've come up with on our own. The Lord, who placed them there, will see that His will is worked our through us. It's the waiting time that makes me ancy...

Teach me Lord, Teach me Lord, to wait...

So I couldnt sleep last night.
I'm feeling a lot better today though. Still not normal, and slightly queesy, but compared to how I have felt, wow... I when I think about it, I forgot to take my vitamin last night. And now I'm feeling worlds better. I've heard of people vitamins making them sick... so I'm really thinking that's what's been doing it. I'm considering not taking it until I go to the doctor next week and see what he says. Laura, I tried the eating something before I got out of bed this morning- I'm sure it helped too. Thanks. Briana, what do you mean, all the natural stuff? I was confused.

Okay, like I said, we have a boy name: Joseph David.
He will not be called "Joe" or "Joey" if we have anything to do with it lol. If a nickname is desired, he'll be called "JD". I believe my mom said she's gonna call him JD.
Still no girl's name, but we both love the name Gabrielle. It's the female form of Gabriel, and it means "devoted to God". Love it. But she won't be called "Gabbie", I'd call her "Ellie". I think it's cute. Anyway, I couldn't sleep, so I was just praying, and I started praying for the baby, and then praying about names. So God put some on my heart... I'll share and please let me know what you think--

Gabrielle Faith (self explainatory)
Gabrielle Carmichael or Gabrielle Michaela (prounounced McCayla)
**We want biblical names, but last night when I was praying about it, I started thinking that if it's not something biblical- being named after somebody is another option. The only person I could think of was the missionary Amy Carmichael. So I got these two names from that. Both of the names have Michael in them, and it means "who is like God?" So I like it.
Gabrielle Christine
**Christine (though not spelled the same) is my middle name, which is the only thing that I don't like about this one. But apparently, the Greek form of it means "Christian; anointed"So I like it also.
Lastly, and honestly the one I think I like the best.
Gabrielle Danu
**"nDanu" (the N is silent in the beginning) was the name of one of the little girls in Kenya. I fell asleep praying about names, and I dreamed about this one, which is crazy. I dreamed I was telling Kristin about it and she said that that was the name of our little girl. "nDanu" is kiKamba for "someone who is happy". It's sweet.
So comment and let me know what you think. I havent even had the chance to tell Dustin yet because he got up and went to work while I was still in bed. But I can't wait to see what he says tonight.

This weather is making me SO incredibley happy!!! It's gorgeous outside and it reminds me of Mexico and makes me miss Mexico. I love love love it! Too bad it's gonna just get colder this weekend again. I can't wait for spring. That really also could be part of why I'm feelign better. A friend of my mom's said when she was pregnant and would start feeling nauseous, she would get out and go for a quick walk and feel better.
It's all in the weather.... :)